My Vanilla Nook

17. Chasing Love

2010-01-31T18:14:00.000-08:00

One of the reasons why I moved countries was to escape my family. I don't talk about it much with anyone since it hurts. I chased who I thought was my dream, and he dumped me as soon as he saw me. Well, I was already dumped before coming here. Stupid me for not reading it clearly, for being too in love with the idea of chasing love when it, he, didn't want me anyway. But I'm here now. That happened months ago. I've settled down. And I don't want to go home.

TheeErin's Picture

My family hated the idea of Rick. They never met him so they judged him by the way he made me laugh and cry, the latter happening more often. While I'm above 18 (heck, above 21!), my Mom wanted me to stay and not let my broken heart fuel my journey. I knew where she was coming from, but I wanted to do it. It was my money, my life anyway. It started out as a talk over dinner, than a full-blown fight, with me slamming my bedroom door and she praying the rosary. Nobody had dessert.

It's my older brother who's more understanding. He's not that digitally connected so pricey monthly phone calls are all we have when catching up. He says Mom's fine, she just tells other people that I found a better job here. I tell my brother I do have a better job and that I am happy, then tell him about Harry and Ashley and Jason and my home. He tells me Mom misses me even if she doesn't say it. I ask her why she's so spiteful every time I try to call her.

Dominic's Picture

"Why don't you just come home,?" she told me last week, when I called for my older brother's birthday. "Is your job there paying you so highly you don't want to move back home? Or are you parading around Rick again?" The rest of the phone call had her spitting out so much negativity towards me I slammed down the phone. My brother called me back to apologize for her. She just couldn't handle her baby girl all alone in a foreign country, he says. I'M FINE, I stress. How the hell am I ever going to grow up in my Mom's eyes?

Oh mother, I wanted to tell her. I chased love flying here, and now I chase love calling home monthly, hoping we could understand each other a little better. Every time I try, my heart just breaks into more pieces.

lux and pixel's picture

What I want is this: To patch things up with my Mom. To tell her, heck, CONVINCE her that I'm doing well here. I've got good friends, a good job, a good guy, and a good home. It's not fantastic, but I'm happy. I could be happier if she understood all that.

Is it difficult for her to accept that I'm happy even if I'm not where she is?

16. Picking Autumn

2010-01-26T23:06:00.000-08:00

I want to write this down on a piece of cardboard as well and give it to him. We haven't said any I Love You's but you know it's just there. Hanging over you like the Sword of Damascus. Or that piece of loose string on your jeans you've been meaning to give attention to but ignore at the moment.

Maybe in Autumn. Then again it's always autumn in my head.

15. Romancing Bacon

2010-01-26T23:02:00.000-08:00

What is it about bacon that entices even the most hardcore of vegetarians? (I'm talking to you Briony! Harry and I saw you nibble a piece of it)

It's bad for us. Artery-clogging. Fattening. Salty. But oh so damn good.

Great with waffles prepared by your boyfriend. He bakes his bacon, not just fries it. It tastes delicious.

I like it extra crispy, extra crunchy. Those Bacon Bits you get from the store are sooo chemical. Nothing beats freshly cooked bacon, crunch, crunch, chomp, chomp and goodbye, diet!

Jason swears he'll never eat bacon again after every meal he has with bacon. That cycles repeats itself every other day. I fear for his heart. And his slowly growing gut.

Bacon. There's such romance around it. Who doesn't fall in love with it? It's like that bad boy in your life you wish would never make an appearance again because you know he's baaaad but soooo good in other ways. You just can't resist him. Like a prodical lover. Like the one who never really got away.

Like the one you don't really want to go away.

The Junk Drawer's picture

14. Popping a popcorn question

2010-01-24T23:21:00.000-08:00

Harry: "You talk a lot." (munching on popcorn)
Me: "Only with friends." (dunking my hand into the popcorn bowl)
Harry: "What does that make me?" (moving the popcorn away from me)
Me: "What?" (reaching for the popcorn)
Harry: "I was under the impression we were more than friends." (moving the popcorn farther away)
Me: "..."
Harry: "..."
Me: "..."
Harry: "And now you're quiet." (setting the popcorn bowl on the coffee table)
Me: "I... I need popcorn?" (reaching for the popcorn bowl)
Harry: "I have a question."(moving the bowl away again)
Me: "If it's are-you-getting-annoyed-with-this-popcorn-tug-of-war, the answer is yes." (folding my arms)
Harry: "Will you be my popcorn mate?"
Me: "You won't even give me pop... wait, what are you talking about?"
Harry: "Will you go out with me?"
Me: "We already are going out."
Harry: "Like officially."
Me: "..."
Harry: "Like exclusively."
Me: "Why? Are you seeing anyone else?"
Harry: "No, are you?"
Me: "No, are you?"
Harry: "I just said I wasn't."
Me: "Oh right."
Harry: "..."
Me: "..."
Harry: "Will you be my girlfriend?"
Me: "..."
Harry: "Unless you don't want to..."
Me: "Popcorn mate?"
Harry: "You know we're both picky about who we sharing our popcorn with."
Me: "I'd love to be your popcorn mate."
Harry: "Thank god, I thought you'd say no."
Me: "I might change my mind if you don't pass me that bowl of popcorn right now."
Harry: "Your wish is my command."

/insert buttery popcorn kisses here

So okay the whole conversation didn't go exactly like that. Some of the dialogue was mostly quiet, unsaid, unwritten.

jmacphoto.com's picture

Eyes and hands say a lot of things, don't they? So do buttery popcorn kisses.

P.S. Popcorn isn't a metaphor for anything. We just really love it more than any other human beings. And oh god, I'm saying "we" now. It feels... nice. A buttery kind of nice.

:)

13. Shivering no more

2010-01-24T18:14:00.000-08:00

It was freezing cold this morning, but I went out anyway. When I got to the courtyard, I took my boots off. I wanted to feel the concrete's coldness more. Against my fuzzy gray socks, the ground felt like it was more alive than the trees with leafless branches.

I stood still for a long time. Then I felt the air bite my skin. I love that. Never mind if I'll regret it later when my skin dries up and I'll have to scour my closet for moisturizer. At that moment, the cold nipping at my skin felt so right. And I, like the ground, silently vibrated with life.

One of my neighbors opened his windows and asked if I was nuts. Shoe-less in the cold. I said I was wearing thick socks. He laughed. I laughed. A few minutes later he joined me at the courtyard, but I wasn't in the mood for company. Contentment in the cold is not the same when shared with someone you don't really like. Or used to like but think you don't like anymore.

After awhile, your body gets used to the cold and there's nothing new to feel anymore. I put my boots back on. He asked me if I wanted to get breakfast. It was my turn to ask him if he was nuts. Nobody laughed this time.

I wasn't shoeless anymore, so I walked away.

jjjohn's picture

12. Intertwining fingers

2010-01-21T00:16:00.000-08:00

Harry and I were holding hands at the front steps...

Wait a minute. Typing that was a bit surreal. I'm holding hands. With HARRY. After swearing not to fall in love too fast again, here I am again very much infatuated with this guy named Harry. And on another level of surreal, he has a huge crush on me as well. That's not a guess. He told me himself.

So it's been a bit of a whirlwind, but I thought, what the heck. He's a blast to be with and we just connected. Jason was all "Go for it!," him of the many love connections. Ashley was more cautious, she who has just broken up with her girlfriend. "A whirlwind romance is like a coffee crash. You get that huge high but the crash will hurt your head so bad." Party pooper. Like I don't know that anyway.

Picture from Martha

It's only been a couple of weeks but things have been promising. Wait, I don't like that word. PROMISING. It's like you're counting too much on the future. That's where the heartbreak comes in. I just want to live in how good our connection is right now, today. Like when we were at the park -- Harry quietly reading through screenplays, me reading a back issue of Psychology Today with my head on his lap. It was quiet and I enjoyed the moment AS IT WAS not because it's like a sign of things to come. A lot of relationships get messed up that way. Been there, done that.

So yeah, Harry and I were holding hands at the front steps this evening when Jason called to say dinner was postponed because his guy date got chicken pox. Who gets chicken pox at twenty-seven? So Jason's gonna go on nurse-mode and I wouldn't be surprised if dons the uniform too. Then Ashley texted saying the ex-girlfriend wanted to meet her for dinner and nothing we could do or say will stop her. That left Harry and myself. Sitting at the front steps.

"What do you want to do?," he asked me.
"We've got reservations for five. What if we just go anyway?," I said. I abhored cancelling reservations. Harry knew that apparently.
"I'll take care of it. What if we just walk around and see what we feel like doing?"

And we walked around, hand in hand, pointing at restaurants, coffee shops... Pizza at my apartment was what we ended up with.

"Maybe I should have taken you to a fancy restaurant. To woo you," Harry said later when we were washing the plates together.
"You can't woo me with champagne and gold napkins," I answered.
"We'll see," he laughed.

He left a couple of hours ago, but "we'll see" lingered in my head. I hate "We'll see." It's like maybe it happen, maybe it won't. Is he surprising me with champagne and gold napkins? Does he want to prove me wrong? And here I am overthinking again. See what I mean about enjoying something in the now? "We'll see" just messes with my head.

Then I go back to the warmth of his hand in mine when we were seated at the steps. When we were walking. When we were eating pizza and watching TV together. It happened hours ago, but the warmth lingers. I enjoyed it while the warmth was there, but the memory of the warmth is still with me. I don't need champagne and gold napkins to be wooed, I should have told him. All I need is your warmth. I should have said that. Cheesy but true.

I can't wait to hold hands again. Yeah, that's like going against what I said about enjoying the now without thinking of what's to come, but that's enough for me. To hold hands again. Champagne and gold napkins are just a bonus.

11. Raising Manhattan

2010-01-10T18:12:00.000-08:00

One of my nieces was named after the city she was born in, and what a beautiful city it is. She's three years old and can't pronounce her name correctly yet. It's more like "Matt-an."

I'm a kid magnet, and it works for or against me sometimes. When I'm in a social event and feeling anti-social, all I have to do is stay near kids and later on I'd be showing them how to make a crane out of paper or debate about who the coolest Transformer is. When I'm at the park and miraculously make eye contact with a guy I could be interested in, into the scene comes a bunch of kids holding up boats and riding bikes in a Ring Around the Posey way -- there's no way out. By the time I get out of the circle, the guy's gone.

Maybe I should've become a Kindergarten teacher. But I don't want to go to school again to get another job. School didn't agree with me very much. I mean, college was cool, but I wouldn't want to waste another night poring over textbooks and wishing I could be hanging out with my friends instead.

Manhattan is a sweet kid. She says she wants to be an ice skater when she grows up. Her favorite holiday is her Mom's birthday. Why? "'Cause she home." There goes my cousin blushing all over, such a workaholic that her toddler already has Mommy issues. "Matt-an" is definitely a Daddy's girl, even if her folks are divorced. She sees more of her Dad even if she lives with her Mom.

You know what, if my cousin would hire me as "Matt-an"'s nanny, I'd go for it. She pays well. Her current nanny dresses really well. And in expensive brands. Not that I'm brand-conscious or anything.

"Favorite Auntie," Manhattan told me recently, extending her arms out for a hug. I gave her a huge hug and gave her a big kiss on the head. Then we made paper cranes (I folded, she played with them) all afternoon.

10. Feeling 2010

2010-01-03T18:56:00.000-08:00

Highlights of the holidays:

Cramming five cousins into my little apartment for one weekend. Make that cramming five almost-always-inebriated cousins. I hated cleaning up after them, but I did enjoy having family over and showing them around my not so little city.
Spending Christmas week with Jason's family. They're such a HAPPY bunch. It was like sunshine was coming out of everyone's ears, eyes, nostrils... I asked Jason where he got his snark gene. It must be recessive, he said. His Mom told me this was the first Christmas he didn't bring a boyfriend with him, which was a relief to her. Then his cousins gave me a list of all the guys he brought with him to family reunions. I was very entertained by the details Jason filled me with when it was just the two of us with a leftover bottle of wine. Oh to have even half the excitement of my gay best friend's love life!
Making a call to my own family. It broke my heart to hear the family's laughter at the other end of the line, them being so far away. For a brief moment I wished I were with them, but after hearing the bitterness in my Mom's voice, I knew it was right that we were still miles apart. I wondered if I shouldn't have made that call. But at least I got to hear her voice, and that I knew she was fine with everything except for us. And the most dramatic phone call award goes to...!
Celebrating New Year's Eve by watching Love Actually many many times, wearing a silver gown, a tiara, eating pizza and drinking beer alongside two glamorously-dressed individuals. Alright, we were supposed to go to this awesome dress-up kind of party, but Ashley's car broke down, her girlfriend threw a fit and hitched a ride with some stranger, Jason and I helped revive the car, and then it was just the three of us in the cold night. And a beat-up car. Somehow we managed to ride the old thing back to Ashley's place, and there we stayed till the wee hours, watching DVD, while the tuxed lady and gentleman ate pizza lying on the floor, and silver-clad me had my feet up on the couch with a bottle of beer. Ashley was a bit mopey over her lady's brattinella-ness, and Jason and I were like, We keep telling you she's such a braaaaaaaaat! The three of us were totally wasted by the third time the movie played again, and I think my subconscious had memorized the movie on the fourth run.
Waking up on New Year's Day to undesirable sounds of desire. Yeah, Ashley and her girl were going at it in their room. I thought someone was crying, but as soon as I saw that Ashley was missing from her spot on the floor, and that there was a trail of clothes leading to their room, well... I shook Jason out of his deep slumber and out of the apartment we ran. We were still hungover, and I think it was about 8 am, but a little bit of our drunkedness went away. It was her apartment anyway, but hearing your friend have smex is just a little bit on the gross side for me. Don't wanna hear it, don't wanna visualize.
Having an internet detox. Wow, this is a pretty long entry. I did try to avoid going online the past few weeks. It was a dare between Jason and myself. But since he has a Blackberry, it's impossible for him to go offline. My phone's just a call and text Jurassic thing, but hey it serves its purpose. And now I get to choose where to have dinner, his treat.

Happy new year to the strangers reading this. Happy new year to my little apartment, which has now been scrubbed clean by moi. Happy new year to the city that I live in. Happy new year to my neighbors, even to that one guy neighbor I've been kind of avoiding. Happy new year to my family, I love you, always, even if we don't talk. Happy new year to my best friends, who are my family where I am.

Let's get crazy this year, shall we?

9. Turning Circles

2009-12-19T19:12:00.000-08:00

Turning Circles
(Sally Dworsky)

Love is so moving as it turns around you
Your heart never figures out how love found you

Love's aftermath stage
'one of the lonely'
You're only a number
Left counting the days.

Turning circles, Turning circles
Never knowing what keeps you apart

Turning circles, Turning circles
Turning circles around your heart

She turns circles, Turning circles
Loves after tonight into hearts

Turning circles, Turning circles
She turns circles around your heart

Jason told me to break the "Don't date anyone from your building rule." Ashley and her girlfriend said he liked me since he joked around a lot with me. I really like him too. You can just sense things like that. So I was planning to ask him out, since we've never hung out beyond the apartment's premises, just to grab coffee or walk around the neighborhood.

I do like Josh. And I know he likes me.

But I guess I assumed too much. On my way home a few days ago, I saw a couple kissing at the apartment's front steps. Before I could think "Get a room!," I saw it was Josh. And a girl. My heart fell.

And well, oh well. I was crushed. Is that why they call them crushes?

I bowed my head before we could make eye contact. He did call out to me, and I just waved my hand, but without looking at him.

My apartment was filled with the aroma of apple pie hours later. Comfort food. All this time I thought there was something, no matter how soon it was too tell. I guess the joke was on me.

8. Managing surprises

2009-12-07T22:11:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I'd be in the middle of a really good book when Ashley would drop by. It annoys me when friends drop by unannounced, but it pleases me as well that I was in their thoughts. The annoyance is trumped by feeling flattered so it's all good. Like when Jason wouldn't stop buzzing at 2 am, disturbing my dreams and my only shot at getting a kiss from Clive Owen. Turns out he was dumped by Boy #127, and we shared tears over leftover berry cheesecake -- the cheesecake we baked together when Boy #127 asked him out a few days ago. I'd rather console a crying Jason than kiss an imaginary Clive anyway. I think. I kid!

So when there was a knock on my door this morning, I was super annoyed. There was no warning buzz from the main door, so who could it be? I didn't let anyone in. I unbolted every lock but the last one and peeked into the hallway. It was Josh from the 7th floor, bearing food. My tummy did some cartwheels. Oh who am I kidding. They did air dances and somersaults and many, many, cartwheels.

It was a thank-you for the pie I shared with him last Thanksgiving. But this time, he said, I could have the whole thing for myself. It was a tin can filled with shortbread. I took a bite out of one piece and declared that yes, he was right, I am saving this all for myself. It tasted really good! Store-bought, he pleaded guiltily. I didn't care. It was so thoughtful of him.

I invited him in for morning coffee. I was so happy to see Josh I forgot I was in the middle of blowdrying my hair. No wonder he was looking at me funny. Ha! I finished drying my hair while I left him in the kitchen with a plate of cookies and a mug of English Breakfast latte.

Then Jason buzzed in, and when I introduced them to each other, he went, "Ah, Josh, the Thanksgiving guy, good to meet you." WHAT THE!!! I know this is cliche, but if looks could kill, Jason would be dead twice-over. Of course Josh caught all that and he just laughed, "Yeah, the Thanksgiving guy." I hope he doesn't think there was a Fourth of July guy or a Christmas guy. I mean, come on, Jason. Be smoother for me.

That was the only horrifying point of the morning. Jason and I headed off to brunch, giggling like schoolgirls once Josh was out of sight. Well I hope he was out of sight AND hearing distance.

That was the only surprise I enjoyed this morning. The other surprise came in the form of a text message from my cousin, saying she has a meeting in the area next week, maybe we could hang out during the weekend. Cousin and I are very competitive with each other, but I don't know. We still love each other to bits. Maybe because we both don't have any sisters. Whatever. I was kinda annoyed at the inviting-myself-over thing, but I'm looking forward to seeing her anyway. Again, the annoyance is trumped by the anticipation of hanging out with her, so it's all good.

7. Rising from the ashes

2009-12-06T01:14:00.000-08:00

This is one of my favorite Postsecrets. I feel like I'm the one who sent it in, scribbling it during one of those crazy evenings when I felt so independent yet very much inebriated.

This secret is dedicated to the reason behind my journey here. If it weren't for him dumping me anyway, I wouldn't have found the beginnings of my own home. If it weren't for him not taking me back, I wouldn't have met two of the greatest friends on earth. If it weren't for him treating me like scum, I wouldn't have rekindled my love for baking.

So I suppose there is good in heartbreak. It just takes a while, a long while, before you realize what good there is.

6. Meeting over pumpkin pie

2009-12-03T02:23:00.000-08:00

What do you do when your two best friends decide to spend Thanksgiving with their respective significant others' families? You spend Thanksgiving alone. That's what happened to me, but no worries. I may have been alone, but I wasn't lonely.

There was no Scrabble night last week, with all the Thanksgiving preps people were focused on and all. I had an early dinner by myself, green bean casserole and roasted chicken for one. I'm not a turkey fan. Then I had made pumpkin pie that afternoon, which I didn't feel like eating in my apartment. I decided to go to the game room and eat in front of the giant TV. (My TV's broken.)

I brought the whole pie and a can of whipped cream with me, a thermos of hot water, and packs of English Breakfast tea. As expected, nobody was at the game room. Perfect! I watched a rerun of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. I think I was onto my 3rd slice of pie when Josh came into the room. He's from the 7th floor. I've met him once (twice?) in the building, exchanging pleasantries. Anyway his roommate, he said, had some friends over and it was getting kind of crowded. So off he went to the game room, expecting nobody there.

We weren't expecting each other then, but that didn't matter. We sat through about four more reruns of the show, and polished off the pie. He ate his with a plastic knife though, since I had only brought one fork. It was a pretty cool way to celebrate Thanksgiving. Small talk, which I abhor, wasn't as bad between us. We pretty much have a lot of stuff in common. Like how plaid is so '90s but we still love wearing it anyway. Like how The Big Bang Theory is one of the greatest shows on earth. Stuff like that. I'm thankful to have made a new friend in the building.

Ashley and Jason called me a few hours later, each one sounding drunker than the other, asking how I was. I told them about Josh and his eager appetite, my successful dishes, and that my Thanksgiving wasn't too bad. They thought I was just trying to see the silver lining. Truth is, I didn't mind at all.

Thank goodness for broken TVs. Thank goodness for pumpkin pie. Thank goodness for crowded rooms. Thank goodness for new (cute) things to look forward to in this building. I may have set out to celebrate Thanksgiving alone, but apparently the holiday had other plans for me.

5. Drifting about

2009-11-23T02:23:00.000-08:00

"A ship in harbor is safe. But that is not what ships are built for."
- William Shedd

There's a picture of a lone sailboat in my room. I hang it across the bed so it's one of the last things I see before drifting off. The image always reminds me of that Shedd quote. And that is what I always try to remember when the going gets tough.

My good friends (all two of them) keep me strong. Ashley's been feeding me like the witch in Hansel & Gretel (Darling, fattening me up will just depress me more) and Jason's been taking me to different places in the city, so it'll feel more like home to me. I love them both. I really do.

Do I love myself enough to keep this up though? Ugh, I'm going emo on myself. Must throw out all ice cream in the freezer.

I think I'll stay "in harbor" just a little bit more. When I feel like my sail can take the wind, I'll definitely start sailing again. I promise. I shall sail again!

4. Looking for my ruby slippers

2009-11-22T17:15:00.000-08:00

What do you do when you're homesick? There's one lady in this building who cries a lot when she's missing her homeland. She's usually at the stairwell, sniffing into a Kleenex. I've passed by her several times (as the elevator continues to be busted) and don't know what to do when I near her. I've patted her on the shoulder once, and she acknowledged it with a nod. Another time I backtracked and waited at the very boring lobby for ten minutes, hoping she'd be gone by then. She was still crying her heart out. I asked if I could get her anything and she just shook her head.

I got hit by a tidal wave of homesickness last night. The tears almost came. I was so sure I'd run to the stairwell once the waterworks arrived. I've been homesick before, and all it took was a call back home. I can't call home now though. Not yet anyway. I decided to make bread. Kneading dough is very good stress release. Poor pounded dough. I transferred most of my sadness into it. I'm now scared to offer the bread to anyone in case it makes them cry.

Home is here in my vanilla nook. I know it is. Sometimes my heart isn't all that convinced though.

3. Finding good friends in a blur of a city

2009-11-20T00:10:00.000-08:00

Small talk is one thing I can live without. Having to think of something to talk about with a stranger is highly awkward for me. I guess you could say I'm not running for office at all. I just don't have that kind of energy. Ironically, small talk was how I met my good friend Jason.

I was at this bookstore, debating whether to get the audiobook of a teenybopper series. Okay I admit it, I'm a Twilight fan. The New Moon audiobook was in my hands one minute, then back on the shelf the next, then back in my hands, then on the shelf. It was a tug of war between the sixteen-year-old in me and the more practical "Just buy food with the money!" side of me.

Jason was standing beside me the whole time. I didn't even notice him. We started talking about Twilight. We both gushed when we confessed we were both on Team Jacob. That was revealed in whispers though because there was a THRONG of tweens wearing Team Edward shirts around us. We did not want to be mauled.

That was a couple of weeks ago. I'm wary of strangers, really, but sometimes you just feel it when someone is genuine. Jason's my date to the New Moon movie. We're both not sure if it will be better than the book (since the book wasn't the best) or if the book will be better (which means the movie must really suck).

It's tough making friends in a new place. You can't tell all the time if someone's nice to you just because. I rely on instinct when it comes to friendship. Jason's like my gay boyfriend. It's been a little bit like Will & Grace actually, except that he's a bit more flamboyant than Will is. And I don't have red hair. And we don't live with each other.

My mobile's ringing and yesiree, it's Jason, calling to ask if I've seen the newest model for this fashion brand. Er. No? He is horrified and says I need to up my style quotient. I'm happy wearing my Team Jacob shirt. He says he's taking me shopping tomorrow. He'll lure me towards the flashy LBDs, I'll probably gravitate towards the row of black Chucks. We'll have a little debate for sure. Then we'll both listen to New Moon on his iPod, sharing earphones, LBDs and black Chucks forgotten.

Small talk can lead to genuine friendship. It's all a matter of two kindred souls meeting at the right place at the right time. Thank you Young Adult section! Thank you bookstore! Thank you Stephenie Meyer!

2. Going down for a triple word score

2009-11-17T20:27:00.000-08:00

The elevator has been busted since forever. I'm glad I live on the fifth floor. My calves are just about ready to scream by the time I reach my door. Just a few more weeks and my legs would look killer in red stilettos. As if I'd wear those.

Apparently the building is one big happy family. I kinda knew that when I was being interviewed (which I REALLY prepared for) but Scrabble nights took it to a whole different level. There's a competition once a week and those who want to attend that evening's round of games have to bring food. I baked cupcakes for my first Scrabble night and they were a hit. They were banana cupcakes. Same banana bread recipe but a cuter execution.

The game room is at the basement which is HELL HOT. The warmth was welcoming at first but after half an hour, the sweaters were coming off. Life's a beach at this basement! I won round of Scrabble, but my team didn't. Losers have to clean up the game room. And so we cleaned up. It was a good way to get to know my neighbors.

Oh, not everybody in the building is nice. There are some creepy fellows but we will not put energy into writing about them. Besides, maybe they're creepy because we don't know them well enough. Right? Okay, stopping judgments now.

I'm looking forward to Scrabble night next week. But I'm not looking forward to going up and down six flights of stairs with a basket of cupcakes on one arm and a thermos of hot chocolate on the other. It's not worth the triple word score.

1. Lighting Up

2009-11-16T20:09:00.000-08:00

My first piece of furniture was a round light blue side table. I saw it at a flea market, fell in love with it, and placed it in my new apartment. Finally, my blue-and-green striped rug had a partner.

With the help of my friend Ashley, my little nook became a home to me. It was my first apartment (well, not mine mine since I'm a tenant), and I was determined to brand it with my personality. Good thing I don't like pricey stuff otherwise my apartment would still be bare. That would be good if I were going for a minimalist look now though.

The apartment is a little cramped now with my this-and-that's. I love it. I love the white plump couch (love seat?) that I crash into after a day at work. I love the shabby-kinda-chic white shelf that holds my many books and my little TV that doesn't quite work. I love the tiny kitchen and the retro blue ref that reminds me of a Cadillac. I love the fairy lights that illuminate my cozy nook. It's my little starlit cove, my daily, nightly dose of cozy. I've got a bunch of lights placed in a fishbowl right on top of that round light blue side table.

That's how life has been for me anyway. A little bit vanilla with a dash of fairy lights. Or maybe I want to look at life that way. That's not too bad now, is it?