Turning Circles
(Sally Dworsky)

Love is so moving as it turns around you
Your heart never figures out how love found you

Love's aftermath stage
'one of the lonely'
You're only a number
Left counting the days.

Turning circles, Turning circles
Never knowing what keeps you apart

Turning circles, Turning circles
Turning circles around your heart

She turns circles, Turning circles
Loves after tonight into hearts

Turning circles, Turning circles
She turns circles around your heart

Jason told me to break the "Don't date anyone from your building rule." Ashley and her girlfriend said he liked me since he joked around a lot with me. I really like him too. You can just sense things like that. So I was planning to ask him out, since we've never hung out beyond the apartment's premises, just to grab coffee or walk around the neighborhood.

I do like Josh. And I know he likes me.

But I guess I assumed too much. On my way home a few days ago, I saw a couple kissing at the apartment's front steps. Before I could think "Get a room!," I saw it was Josh. And a girl. My heart fell.

And well, oh well. I was crushed. Is that why they call them crushes?

I bowed my head before we could make eye contact. He did call out to me, and I just waved my hand, but without looking at him.

My apartment was filled with the aroma of apple pie hours later. Comfort food. All this time I thought there was something, no matter how soon it was too tell. I guess the joke was on me.

Sometimes I'd be in the middle of a really good book when Ashley would drop by. It annoys me when friends drop by unannounced, but it pleases me as well that I was in their thoughts. The annoyance is trumped by feeling flattered so it's all good. Like when Jason wouldn't stop buzzing at 2 am, disturbing my dreams and my only shot at getting a kiss from Clive Owen. Turns out he was dumped by Boy #127, and we shared tears over leftover berry cheesecake -- the cheesecake we baked together when Boy #127 asked him out a few days ago. I'd rather console a crying Jason than kiss an imaginary Clive anyway. I think. I kid!

So when there was a knock on my door this morning, I was super annoyed. There was no warning buzz from the main door, so who could it be? I didn't let anyone in. I unbolted every lock but the last one and peeked into the hallway. It was Josh from the 7th floor, bearing food. My tummy did some cartwheels. Oh who am I kidding. They did air dances and somersaults and many, many, cartwheels.

It was a thank-you for the pie I shared with him last Thanksgiving. But this time, he said, I could have the whole thing for myself. It was a tin can filled with shortbread. I took a bite out of one piece and declared that yes, he was right, I am saving this all for myself. It tasted really good! Store-bought, he pleaded guiltily. I didn't care. It was so thoughtful of him.

I invited him in for morning coffee. I was so happy to see Josh I forgot I was in the middle of blowdrying my hair. No wonder he was looking at me funny. Ha! I finished drying my hair while I left him in the kitchen with a plate of cookies and a mug of English Breakfast latte.

Then Jason buzzed in, and when I introduced them to each other, he went, "Ah, Josh, the Thanksgiving guy, good to meet you." WHAT THE!!! I know this is cliche, but if looks could kill, Jason would be dead twice-over. Of course Josh caught all that and he just laughed, "Yeah, the Thanksgiving guy." I hope he doesn't think there was a Fourth of July guy or a Christmas guy. I mean, come on, Jason. Be smoother for me.

That was the only horrifying point of the morning. Jason and I headed off to brunch, giggling like schoolgirls once Josh was out of sight. Well I hope he was out of sight AND hearing distance.

That was the only surprise I enjoyed this morning. The other surprise came in the form of a text message from my cousin, saying she has a meeting in the area next week, maybe we could hang out during the weekend. Cousin and I are very competitive with each other, but I don't know. We still love each other to bits. Maybe because we both don't have any sisters. Whatever. I was kinda annoyed at the inviting-myself-over thing, but I'm looking forward to seeing her anyway. Again, the annoyance is trumped by the anticipation of hanging out with her, so it's all good.

What do you do when your two best friends decide to spend Thanksgiving with their respective significant others' families? You spend Thanksgiving alone. That's what happened to me, but no worries. I may have been alone, but I wasn't lonely.

There was no Scrabble night last week, with all the Thanksgiving preps people were focused on and all. I had an early dinner by myself, green bean casserole and roasted chicken for one. I'm not a turkey fan. Then I had made pumpkin pie that afternoon, which I didn't feel like eating in my apartment. I decided to go to the game room and eat in front of the giant TV. (My TV's broken.)

I brought the whole pie and a can of whipped cream with me, a thermos of hot water, and packs of English Breakfast tea. As expected, nobody was at the game room. Perfect! I watched a rerun of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. I think I was onto my 3rd slice of pie when Josh came into the room. He's from the 7th floor. I've met him once (twice?) in the building, exchanging pleasantries. Anyway his roommate, he said, had some friends over and it was getting kind of crowded. So off he went to the game room, expecting nobody there.

We weren't expecting each other then, but that didn't matter. We sat through about four more reruns of the show, and polished off the pie. He ate his with a plastic knife though, since I had only brought one fork. It was a pretty cool way to celebrate Thanksgiving. Small talk, which I abhor, wasn't as bad between us. We pretty much have a lot of stuff in common. Like how plaid is so '90s but we still love wearing it anyway. Like how The Big Bang Theory is one of the greatest shows on earth. Stuff like that. I'm thankful to have made a new friend in the building.

Ashley and Jason called me a few hours later, each one sounding drunker than the other, asking how I was. I told them about Josh and his eager appetite, my successful dishes, and that my Thanksgiving wasn't too bad. They thought I was just trying to see the silver lining. Truth is, I didn't mind at all.

Thank goodness for broken TVs. Thank goodness for pumpkin pie. Thank goodness for crowded rooms. Thank goodness for new (cute) things to look forward to in this building. I may have set out to celebrate Thanksgiving alone, but apparently the holiday had other plans for me.